It doesn’t always have to be complicated. Sometimes having the relationships that you want just require a few tweaks and changes
We all come into our adult life with our own stories and our own baggage… We don’t have to have suffered trauma to be damaged and have resistance where it doesn’t need to be
When we create our own family life we are not only replaying recreating our own childhood experiences but we are playing them out in a way that makes sense to us
If you are married or in a long-term partnership, your partner is doing the same and so working your way through that to make a calm, compassionate and nurturing environment for your own children can be complicated. It can be fractious and it can be, let’s face it, hard.
Here’s a few easy changes that you might be able to make that will make life for yourself and your family a lot easier
- Be really clear about what you want to change
This might sound a bit simple, but often, we don’t actually know what we need to change. We know we want it to be different but we don’t know how.
Set some time to really work that out for yourself… what needs to change? What will it look like once it’s different? How are you going to know when you’ve got there?
- Make to communicate that with your partner
We can often assume that our partner either knows what we’re thinking or, should know what we’re thinking and that just simply isn’t the case
Unless we make the time to be clear about what we want, how can they know it… If we don’t share it, how can they know it? Obviously that works both ways too
It’s all about the communication, so make sure you give it the time and space it needs
- Do the work. There are no quick fixes and if we want lasting change, then we need to commit to the process, in whichever way is necessary.
Find yourself a counsellor or a coach to help you work out the changes, either by yourself or with your partner. You may need a neutral person to help you through this… to navigate through what’s yours, what’s theirs and what is a family story
Practice self-care, compassion, empathy and tolerance. These things don’t always come easy, especially if we want them to last.
There are no overnight fixes. Being the person that we want to be, whether that is individually, as a wife or as a mother means doing the work, showing up and being consistent.
Let this be the year that you make lasting changes for yourself and for your family!
Let 2022 be your best year yet x