Ok, so what do you want?? What do you want in terms of your life and your relationship and how do the two meet? If you’re in a long term relationship and that relationship is going well and everything is stable and you are content and happy, then usually most areas of your life tend to be a quite stable and happy too.
That that might not be the case if you are in a job that you hate or if you have a boss you don’t like or you’ve got a family crisis going on at the moment but in terms of where you are within yourself and where you are in terms of meeting your personal goals, if your relationship is track, the trajectory for both should be pretty good.
If you are out of alignment, either within your relationship, or your personal goals and values, then you might find that you are just seeking happiness and fulfillment.. trying to find the missing piece of the puzzle but not really sure how or what that is. Maybe you don’t know what you even need to be looking for.
So if you are looking at your life situation and you can’t quite work out what it is you need to make yourself happy; maybe you’re on the treadmill of life and you’re not really digging any of it at the moment but you can’t see a way out and you’re feeling a bit stuck.
Start by sitting down and having a look at where you are.. identify all of the areas in your life at the moment that are significant (so that could be work, relationship, children, financial, health, weigh or illness, life style choices, social activities). Map out all of those things and then have a look and identify which ones you feel really happy with and which ones you feel less happy with. So you might, for example, want to use a scale of 1-5 (5 being really good/happy) and then have a look and see if you can identify which areas you need to put more work into.
Once you’ve got an idea of which areas you need to be focusing on and you can then start thinking about what you need to do to make a difference. It might be that there’s something really quite small that will make a significant difference for you or you find there’s something more fundamental going on. If it’s a problem in your relationship, then you will need to start identifying what difficulty actually is and what it is you need to do to rectify that.