The Unwritten Rules Workbook
Should I Stay or Go?
You make bigger decisions than this before lunch. Get the full picture of this one.
An 8-part clarity workbook for women who want to decide whether to stay or go from strength, not panic, anger or exhaustion. Private, structured, and it ends with a one-page summary and three next steps.
Instant PDF download · 8 parts · about 30 minutes each · no partner needed
If you've been going round in circles…
✔️ You've read the books, tried the counsellor and talked it through with your sister, and you're still no closer.
✔️ You check his mood before you've taken your coat off.
✔️ Everyone thinks he's great. You're the only one who knows what it's like at home.
✔️ Money isn't the question. Getting it wrong is.
✔️ You'd make this decision in a day if it were a work decision.
✔️ You don't want to blow up your family and regret it. You don't want to stay and regret that either.
You already know something has to change. What you want is to decide it with a clear head.
This isn't a failure of intelligence.
Much of how you behave in a close relationship was set long before you met him, by rules you picked up growing up and never wrote down. Because they're unwritten, they run quietly in the background. They shape what you say, what you swallow and what you believe you're allowed to want.
That's why more thinking hasn't solved it.
You'd never make a major decision at work without the full picture. This workbook gives you the full picture.
Read this before you buy
It won't tell you to stay or to go. It makes sure that whichever you choose, you choose it knowing everything.
It's for you, on your own. Your partner doesn't need to know, join in or agree.
It's a structured workbook, not therapy. You work through it at your own pace. It doesn't replace counselling or therapy.
It has a finish. You end with a summary you can act on.
Eight parts. One clear picture.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
PART 1
What you actually want
Describe the life you'd be glad to be living, and what you want to feel.
By the end of Part 8, you'll have
✔️ A written picture of what you want, for your life and for yourself
✔️ The unwritten rules you're following, in your own words
✔️ A clear split between what's fact, what's assumption and what you don't yet know
✔️ The words for what you need, ready to say
✔️ A one-page summary of where you stand
✔️ Three concrete next steps
One part at a time
Eight parts, each about 30 minutes. Do one a day for a week, or work through it over a weekend. Print it, or answer in a notebook. It's private, and it's yours to keep.
Hi, I'm Pascale Lane
I'm a Relationship Clarity Coach for women (BA, MSc, MBACP). Most of the women I work with are respected at work and quiet at home.
I help them see the rules they learned growing up that still drive their choices, so they can say what they need and decide their next step with confidence.
This workbook is the first step in how I work.
This workbook is for you if…
✔️ You want a clear way through, not more reading.
✔️ You're ready to do about four hours of honest writing.
✔️ You want to decide from strength, whichever way it goes.
This workbook is for you if…
✔️ You want a clear way through, not more reading.
✔️ You're ready to do about four hours of honest writing.
✔️ You want to decide from strength, whichever way it goes.
Questions
How long does it take?
About four hours across eight parts. Spread it over days, or do it over a weekend.
Is it only for women who want to leave?
No. It's for women who want to decide clearly, whichever way it goes.
Do I need my partner to take part?
No. It's entirely for you, and entirely private.
Will it tell me whether to stay or leave?
No. It gives you the full picture and a decision process. The decision stays yours.
Is it therapy?
No. It's a structured, self-guided workbook, not a replacement for therapy or counselling.
What if I've already tried counselling?
That's very common. This looks at where your patterns come from and how they show up now, which talking things through often doesn't reach.
What format is it?
A PDF you download straight away. Print it, or write your answers in a notebook.
What happens after I finish?
The last page invites you to the free masterclass, and to apply for 1-1 work with me if you'd like support.
Decide with the full picture.
You've thought about it long enough. Spend about four hours seeing it clearly.