How to turn a bad morning into a great day in under 5 minutes…
This comes from the heart today because this was my morning
It had all started out completely fine; I got up, did my yoga routine, got the girls up and everything was going fine…
But the inevitable blackhole of time that is somewhere between 08.00 and 08.30 often seems to sneak up on me from out of nowhere and poke me on the behind
We don’t have these mornings very often anymore but today I was definitely caught off guard
Two little girls very reluctant to go to school this morning and their ability to procrastinate and drag their feet is really quite reward worthy
Nonetheless, I wasn’t laughing much this morning as the time to leave the house came and went and shoes were still not on feet, cardigans and coats not on bodies and bags not by the front door…
The moaning drone of the husband daring to tell me not to shout as I was rather overly enthusiastically encouraging the girls to get ready… ok, let’s be honest… shouting! But, in my defence, we have the same routine 5days a week… And it’s not like any of it comes as a surprise… and really and truthfully there’s no reason at all to be so unready at 08.30 on a Monday morning!
Eldest had started crying saying she didn’t want to go to school and at that moment, the penny dropped and the stomach churn began as I realised that all of this was just about something else… it wasn’t necessary for me to get into a battle with her about why she wasn’t ready but to identify and acknowledge the fact that she was worried about something and this was a symptom of a bigger issue
… Not for the youngest… She is hopelessly disorganised and I’m surprised she remembers to put her shoes on half the time!
After a slight to and fro getting to the car, realising it was too late to walk and that we now had to drive, I realise there was no way I was sending my children into school feeling like this
My chaos is not there chaos nor vice versa
It is my job to keep them calm in the storm and help them maintain the balance… Not whip it up even more and then send them off to manager alone
Time to breathe! Take stock of what is happening… Adjust and re-centre
Here’s what I did
- Take a moment to stop and work out what’s going on. This isn’t how I want it to be for them or for me.
Taking a moment to calm myself and just step out of the situation, even just for a few seconds, can make all the difference in the world.
It’s only the school run… This is not a life crisis. She is upset because she is trying to avoid something and it’s important to be able to offer compassion and understanding and the situation
- Apologise. There will never be a time where I don’t offer an apology to my children. If I have behaved in a way that is insensitive or inappropriate, they get an apology.
Why? Because it’s important to live by the rules that I set. This is not a case of do as I say not as I do (very occasionally it is but this is not one of them).
If I cannot control my emotions then how can I expect them to do the same?
Own it and be accountable for it.
- Talk about what we need to do differently tomorrow. Acknowledge all the times it works well and how great we feel on those days.
What are we doing differently? Let’s decide together how we’re going to get it right from here onwards.
- Set the tone for the day. What is happening today that we feel excited or thankful for? What do we need to acknowledge and speak about.
What can we share with each other that puts us in the right mood for the day ahead??
And of course, reinforcing to them how loved they are and that I am responsible for my reactions not them but that we all get it wrong sometimes and that’s ok too xx