This is a bit of a tough one isn’t it because in many ways this goes against all of the things that I would be recommending when working with a couple on or an individual in our coaching sessions, but sometimes there is a time and a place for emotional detachment and I think the key to understanding when it’s okay and when it’s not okay is very much based around what is going on at the moment and for how long that detachment is going to be going on for.
Now a lot of the women that I work with are either self-employed or very career driven or career minded and as we all know our relationships affect how we function, both at work and at home.
If you and your partner are in a difficult period of your relationship and this is affecting your work and your ability to either grow your business or just excel in your career, then there is a need to know when to cut off. Now ordinarily if you are feeling like you are emotionally cut off from your partner, that’s not a great thing.
Being emotionally detached would indicate that you are not really in touch with your emotions or that you are avoiding difficult conversations, difficult emotions and avoiding conflict. But as I said, there is a time and a place where this might be appropriate and if you and your partner are going round and round the same argument and the same disagreements time and time again and neither of you can really break out of that, there might be a time where you just need to step out, step out of that constant kind of ‘chasing your tail’ you to both of you as I said going around in the same the same argument circle all the time.
Just cut off and concentrate on what you need to be doing to get through this phase.. to get through the next step of either your business, your family life.. whatever it is that you’ve got going on at the moment, that you need to concentrate on in order to grow yourself, and then maybe you can come back to engaging on an emotional level but like, with the difficulties that you’re having with a different frame of mind.
I mean I personally find that if I have got a big work project hanging over me I find conflict very very difficult and I can’t .. it’s like I can’t put all of my energy into two big things at the same time. So I have in the past kind of just stepped out of the game for a little bit, Especially when I was studying a lot and doing a lot of work assignments and I would just have to kind of put myself in that zone and that was where I had to be and it was as simple as that and that would go on for sometimes weeks out there was one point where I went on for probably you know a couple of months but you know, that was what was necessary at that time.
So there we are, that’s my thoughts on that.. Emotional detachment: not always great but sometimes necessary!