So what ways are you able to reconnect? This doesn’t mean intimately or sexually but as family that is connected rather than disconnected; not re-connected, just connected. Being able to get by, be happy and stable.. not just for the sake of the children but for your own sake too.

So what does that look like? Maybe once a day you both have a cup of tea and check-in with each other and find out what’s been happening with each other’s day. If you are committed to being in the family unit but don’t know how to go about ‘being’ that at the moment, then the best way to start is to have an open dialogue that doesn’t lead to an argument or confrontation. So small talk basically; asking about each other’s day, things coming up in the week, stuff that is meaningful and relevant but that won’t cause an argument or conflict.

Now there’s also something important here about maintaining family life for the children. So are there any activities that you can do together as a family? Maybe this is something simple like every weekend watching a film together as a family or eating a meal together as a family and being able to represent a ‘normal’ family conversation and relationship where you are all able to share your week with each other in a pleasant and harmonious way. Sometimes its just about finding small activities or small chunks of time so that you can keep the family ‘together’ even, if your relationship feels like a void. So the focus if you like becomes the children as opposed to the two of you.

If you can move forward like this, regardless of your relationship status, then keeping it calm and pleasant with open communication, not only models ‘adult’ behaviour around your children, but keeps peace and harmony in the home and heart.

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