So what is the problem in your relationship? Do you talk about the problem in your relationship and do you know where the problem started? Relationships are made up of two people. Now I know that’s a bit obvious, but the point about having difficulties in relationships you are both responsible. You might not both be equally responsible, it might not necessarily be 50/50, it might be 60/40, it might be 70/30. In a way it’s irrelevant. The point I am trying to make is that when you get into a mindset that the problem is all one person, you’re into choppy waters, because no one person can be fully to blame for the struggle that you’re having. Now whether or not it’s down to lack of communication, lack of time, lack of intimacy, whatever the problem may be, you are both responsible for it. Now it may be that the problem itself is one sided. It may be that one of you has done something bad or has done something unforgivable, but it is how you are responding to it and how you are discussing it and how you are negotiating it and how you behave around each other.. that is where you are both responsible. You are both responsible for how the problem is acknowledged, how the problem is accepted and how it is dealt with.
Make sure that you are taking the time to talk to each other – to name the difficulty and to acknowledge who owns what part and what role in how the problem is dealt with in the present and in the future.

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