I’ve just been reviewing my client list and just looking, out of curiosity really, more than anything, to see what the common themes are in my client base at the moment. I’m going for a period at the moment where I’m working predominantly with women individually, rather than couples, although I do still have a few couples on my caseload, but I’m looking at the women in particular and having a look and seeing what the common thread is. If there are any themes that are emerging with them at the moment. And I just did a really simple exercise, I just listed them all out and just kind of wrote down next to their name their most presenting issue. Do you know what, I’m absolutely staggered that all of them with the exception of one or two, have all suffered from emotional abuse, either as children or in their previous relationship.. I’ve got one that’s still in an emotionally abusive relationship at the moment, but most of them have come out of those relationships now and we are just fixing and mending.. working on self-esteem and confidence. You know, it it always saddens me.. in some ways it makes me very happy because I know that I do really good work and I know that when I work with women that have been in these difficult situations, they always leave happier and more confident, but it always saddens me how little we talk about emotional abuse and how little recognition there is for it. I’m not gonna go on a massive kind of lecture about what emotional abuse is, I can tell you that the effects of emotional abuse are depression, anxiety, low self-esteem, low self-worth, feelings of helplessness and hopelessness.. but you know these behaviours stem from childhood, right? So either the women that I’m working with have suffered emotional abuse from one or both of their parents or they’re in a relationship with an emotional abuser or a narcissist, in the case of two or three of the women that I’m working with, where there has been emotional abuse in that person’s life, the ex-partners life. And these are the traits, these are the the wounds, the bruises that we carry forward… If you haven’t had an emotionally stable, loving, caring, nurturing environment, the chances are you’re going to be bringing that forward into your future relationships. These ladies, all of the ladies, as I said with exception to a couple, are no longer in these relationships anymore but now they are having to heal themselves from the wounds are either of their own childhood or likely the ex-partners childhood. Anyway I just wanted to share that because that I found that really insightful actually.. Really really insightful. If you would like to talk about any issues that you are struggling with either from a childhood or earlier, past relationships, current relationships, then send me an email and let’s talk it through, let’s organise to have a chat and see what we can do to get your confident and happy and as fabulous as you absolutely should be! x

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