How self aware are you? How much time do you take to really consider how much you influence the conversation at home, in your relationship or just with your family in general? Do you ever take time to think about a conversation or disagreement that didn’t go the way that you wanted it to and wonder how you could’ve done it differently? Things that you wish you had said, things that you wish you hadn’t said.

Having a good level of self-awareness is so important to really being able to understand why relationship dynamics work the way they do and how we are responsible for taking a situation in a certain direction. Now, obviously, we are not responsible for what the other person hears or what the other person does in response, but we are responsible in that moment for how we choose to behave, act and respond.

So how we respond is so important to consider. Every minute of every day we are able to make a choice about how we are going to behave. If you are in a tense conversation or are in conflict with your partner, how you choose to communicate with them will have a really huge bearing on how that plays out. As I said, you’re not responsible for what your partner hears or how they respond, but you do have a choice to either be defensive or compassionate in that moment.