?Long term relationships can sometimes be difficult and tricky. We all grow as individuals and because of this, we grow as a couple, and over time things change.

? 1. Personal growth and development. This might not be intuitive when thing about relationships but actually when we grow and we become more aware of who we are and what we need and want out of life; it enriches us. It enriches our values, our communicating skills and in turn, our relationships. So if we can work on our personal development then in turn we improve our relationships.

? 2. Not taking each other for granted. This too can be difficult when we are all juggling work, family life, children, as well as going through different seasons of the relationship and it is very easy to take each other for granted.
Here the small gestures make all the difference: Making each other a cup of tea, doing small things for each other, text messages saying ‘I love you’ and also so importantly, saying ‘thank you’ and showing gratitude to each other. Being mindful about what you want to hear and maybe even modelling this behaviour towards your partner and demonstrating what benefit it is to hear and show the actions and words you want to hear.

? 3. Being affectionate is also a key player in maintaining heathy relationships but again this is so easily forgotten. Life whizzes past so quickly doesn’t it, especially if we have young children and spend our life chasing our own tail! It’s so easy to be passing ships .
Make sure you are keeping some contact going.. the odd kiss or cuddle, being sure you are giving each other eye contact when you are talking to each other, especially during the times when you are sharing information about things that mater, even showing appreciation for each other. Lack of eye contact and even staring at a phone can be such a barrier to demonstrating respect to your partner.. and we are all guilty if thus, myself included, bur it’s important to be aware of it and try to limit it as much as possible. Be in the zone!

? 4. Never assume that your partner knows what you are thinking or feeling. We all change and experience life differently over the weeks, months and years. We all change and grow, through our work life and family life, especially if we are working on personal development .
When we assume that we know what our partner is thinking and feeling it can often lead to misunderstanding and resentment. It is important to keep the conversations going … if you are talking about things that are upsetting or you or managing a situation where you are dealing with upset caused by either you or your partner, talk about why you feel upset, what has triggered you and make it a learning opportunity for you both rather than just a shouting match.